Do you need a break? From what?

Where are the biggest battles of our largely peaceful lives fought? Inside our own bloody heads of course. I’ve been in a much better place recently than I was last year. But I’ve been catastrophising over the last couple of days. So intense and long-standing were my worries I think I’ve got a long road ahead to carve out new pathways for myself. So I’m working on it.

My husband and I are heading to a wee spa today with an outdoor pool. It’s blawin a hoolie outside and the spa is right by the sea. It’ll be a wild swim in a chlorinated and concreted pool! Im looking forward to it. Small steps towards rebuilding our connection with one another and getting me out of my own head.

It also gives me some time away from my parents, who live right next door. And the wider family who are also around at the minute. My mother is driving me crazy with her relentless, controlling and matriarchal premiership. Truly Putinesque. The length of her dominance in our household puts Putin to shame. I’ll probably write more about that soon because in my musings about co-dependency, I need only look out the window to see where that began for me. Anyway, today I’ll be taking a break from the cruel tutelage of Pai Mei! A wee Kill Bill quote there. She wasn’t that bad. But still.

So, my aim for today. Enjoy my husband because he’s a gem. Take in the beautiful surroundings of the Scottish sea and hills. Think about myself and my marriage. Be held like a baby in the water by my husband (sounds weird maybe but it’s wonderful!). And in honour of Al-Anon, FIRST THINGS FIRST. Hunt out a razor and get this fuzzy winter bodysuit sorted out!

Happy Saturday everyone.